UNITED STATES—I’m going over my expenses, income and finances and I’m not happy. I’m starting to realize that I’m spending money that I have not accounted for and that is a problem. I know my monthly expenses when it comes to electricity, gas, mortgage, cell phone, Cable, internet, insurance, transportation and groceries. After all the bills are paid, the goal is always to store a bit in savings and the rest is to be money I can do as I please.

So what is the issue? I’m seeing myself loaning out money to people who are NOT paying it back, and its primarily family. Family is the worse when it comes to money because if a person doesn’t pay you back I hate to say it, but you have situations that turn into an episode of “Judge Judy” where you’re taking a family member to court to get some sort of resolution, not good people.

What are you to do? I hate to say this, but you have to lie. You have to tell people you cannot afford to loan or give them any money. This is a brutal gut punch, but you have those family members who will nickel and dime you all day long and never attempt or even try to pay you back. Yes, I have family members like that and I know the game they attempt to play. As a result, when they ask for money, my response is simple, “Nope, I don’t have it. Sorry I don’t have any cash on me.”

Sometimes I get that reply, “Can you go to the ATM and get some money?” My answer, “Nope, I don’t use ATMs,” and to be honest it is true. I think I may have gone to an ATM two times in my entire life. I just don’t like to use them. If I need to obtain physical money, I just head to the actual bank.

I rather go inside, speak to a teller and actually get cash in my hand. ATMs are not always the safest place to go and hell, half the time most are out of cash/money or do not work properly. Can you tell me the last time you went into a bank and you weren’t able to get any money? I can’t think of one, but an ATM more times than I can consider.

We have to be aware that when we loan money to family members there is a good chance, you are never going to see that money again or get it back. Family has this weird approach of thinking because you’re blood-related it is your duty to help them if they ask and that is not the case. You give as you please it is not a requirement and the moment you start to see that repeat pattern with a family member who is constantly asking, but never paying back it shall be a sign, I have to stop loaning anything out.

Hell, I should have thousands on top of thousands in my savings account if I recouped all the money that I loaned to family members, but the reality is sometimes you just have to let it be. However, you don’t want it to be at the detriment of your own finances. Severing ties with family over money should not be a do all end all.

If they can’t respect the fact that you don’t have it to give, that is their problem, not yours and guess what you don’t have to feel guilty about it. It is your money at the end of the day. If you choose to loan or not loan that money that is your choice.

Written By Jason Jones