UNITED STATES—How does one get off their chest something that has been bugging them for weeks, months or years? I am someone who has been known to bottle my emotions which I know is not healthy in any given situation, but I always worry about the ramifications of my actions seriously hurting someone’s feelings. I’m starting to realize, that my feelings matter just as much.
I know I’m not the only person grappling with such issues. When we tell the truth, no matter how harsh or brutal it can be, people will be hurt, but at the same time a huge weight will be lifted off one’s shoulders. If you allow yourself to become a doormat people will walk all over you. As a human being, you have to be willing to make a few enemies or bruise a few egos to make it clear to others that you are not someone who will be taken lightly.
This tends to happen more than ever in the business arena. So many of us grapple with that fear of losing our job, making enemies at work or no longer being a part of the ‘popular’ clique, but you have to understand there is a way to approach a situation without being overly abrasive about things. I’ve learned that I tend to internalize my feelings. A lot of the time, I act out in my dreams what I wish I could act out in real life without dealing with the consequences.
I don’t like confrontation; I’ll be the first to admit it, but that does not mean if someone pushes my buttons that I won’t explode. I may take a moment or two to myself to recollect my thoughts and decide what action to take next before acting out. No one wants to make a fool of themselves at work, but at the same time no one wants to be made a fool of either. There are those bosses who talk out of their a**** to get their point across to their workers or scare people senseless.
I believe in the philosophy that if a person is willing to dish harsh insults, they should be prepared to have those harsh insults delivered right back at them. It’s not to embarrass someone; it’s to prove the point that your actions indeed have consequences. I sometimes rehearse in my mind a trillion times of things I want to say, but I know allowing my dark side to emerge to simply raise a point gets us nowhere.
Imagine if you had one day where you could say any and everything you wanted to those people who irk you senseless at times. Would you do it? Without a doubt, because there are no consequences to be suffered, but we don’t live in that world. I’m starting to learn through communication that one is able to get his or her point across in a firm and direct approach without dramatics being involved.
There is always that ongoing assumption in society that just because a person doesn’t talk that he or she has nothing to say. Wow, is that ever so wrong! That silence is an indication that the person is thinking about what to say before having to actually say it. When we unleash the truth on those family members, friends, employers or loved ones who have been pushing buttons for ions they will look at you in complete disarray.
They might not fully understand where all the frustration is coming from, but deep down they know, they might not be ready to recognize the truth that has been lying there all along. That does not mean to embarrass yourself or put such a spotlight on yourself that people question who you are as a person. With the truth comes honesty, but that does not mean one has to be vile about it. Our emotions can be triggers that are impossible to control on good days, imagine controlling those emotions on a bad day?
Simply put, keeping how one feels bottled up inside is unhealthy. Not just mentally, but physically as well. The amount of euphoria you will feel by allowing that truth to fly free could be the difference between night and day for most people. With family it may take time to heal, with work, you will feel as if you have escaped something that has kept you trapped for years.