UNITED STATES—On November 8, we will most likely know who our next president will be. For most of us, Election Day can’t come soon enough. To be sure this campaign season has been one for the ages. We’ve seen some of the most shocking political stunts and revelations about both candidates that most of us just want it to be over with regardless of who wins.
So, to keep our minds off the multitude of important questions we should be asking ourselves before we vote, let’s consider something that is arguably more trivial: The presidential limo. I am a car guy, after all.
So, what would be the ride of choice for either candidate?
If it’s Hillary Clinton, we may have something very low-tech. It certainly wouldn’t be as complicated as a Blackberry because we all know what kind of problems that would create. One thing is for certain. It would not come with an on-board private email server.
If it’s Donald Trump, we may have something…well…”YUGE”, as he would put it. It’ll be something “terrific.” It’ll be the most presidential limo ever, believe me. And as soon as the audit is complete, you’ll know more about it.
Most likely, the presidential limo will continue as is, but it’s always fun to play “what if.” Until we know what the future holds, here’s a list of some past presidential limos that stand out in one way or another:
Obama’s Cadillac One:
To say this thing is a beast would be flattering to beasts. This Crusher of a Caddy makes it quite easy to imagine the president personally leading the charge in the types of special ops missions that brought Bin Laden to justice. Indeed the various Hollywood movies that portray the President as some sort of action hero (Air Force One, White House Down, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Slayer) do not seem all that far-fetched when you discover the many feats this limo is capable of. Among its obvious armaments, Cadillac One is equipped with multi-spectrum infrared smoke grenades which act as a countermeasure to anti-tank missiles. Furthermore, only the secret service knows the secret to accessing the passenger compartment. There are no key holes.
Kennedy’s 1961 Lincoln Continental (X-100):
Yes, it is eerie to have this reminder of one of America’s worst days on this list. What can be said about this vehicle? Nothing positive in my humble opinion. I’m already not much of a convertible guy, but this one certainly gets an extra thumbs down for having shed its top at the worst possible time. When you read about the next car on this list, you’ll be even more disgusted by the timing of this drop top.
1950 Lincoln Cosmopolitan “Bubbletop”:
To solve the constant need for the President to be seen by the people without being exposed to the people, Lincoln Motor Company created a convertible equipped with a bullet-proof plexiglas bubble top. Those who think the Pope is the first world leader to be driven around in a display case were probably not alive when Truman, Eisenhower, and Kennedy (Yes, JFK) made their rounds in this awkward limo.
FDR’s 1939 Lincoln K-Series “Sunshine Special”:
To help FDR maintain his reputation as a transparent, accessible President, he needed a mode of transportation that would enable him to be seen without revealing the affects his Polio affliction, namely that he couldn’t walk. The “Sunshine Special” was the first presidential limo designed specifically to serve the President. After the Japanese attacked Pearl Harbor, this Lincoln convertible was armor plated and fitted with bullet-resistant tires and gas tank. The need to protect the President from the neck up seemed to be an unanticipated scenario. Considering FDR was already disabled from the waste down, begs the question, “What was the lower body armor protecting, really?”