UNITED STATES—Money. It’s the one thing that has universal control over the lives of most people. Those who have it wield a ton of power and those who don’t do everything in their power to get more of it. Shelve that argument, as we turn our focus on the importance of money in a marriage. It’s been joked time and time again that once a man marries a woman, the notion of his no longer exists; it’s all hers at that point.
Many have speculated for years that money is one of the biggest factors that results in a divorce, and considering that my parents divorced when I was quite young, I understand now as an adult that money was at the root.
When it comes to marriage there are a lot of people who like to believe that the traditional notion still exists. I’m sorry, but it doesn’t. That time of the man going off to work and the woman staying at home taking care of the kids and doing domestic work is long over.
Those dynamics no longer exists, even though there are plenty of people out there that still seem to think so. Men work, women work, both are earning money, but who is better at managing those funds? I don’t believe in the notion of just giving my wife all of my money at the end of the week from each paycheck I’ve earned. Before you all go in uproar, no I’m not married and perhaps one day when I do get married it’s a possibility it can change, but I believe men are 10x much better at handling the expenses of the household.
I’ve literally had this discussion with tons of people, not just family members who are married, but complete strangers, friends and co-workers. I was baffled to learn that most women held the purse strings of the money in the household. Yet, the guys came across as lap dogs in my opinion. They would have to ask their wives for money.
Wait a minute, pause, time out. Why would I have to ask someone for funds that I have earned? If anything, once the expenses are paid, whatever is left over is mine to blow. In a marriage I understand compromise goes a long way, but at the same time, I expect to have funds in my pocket at my disposal.
Most women I spoke to were in agreement of their husband forking over the funds at the end of the week, however, one of my co-workers put something into perspective that shocked me.
She said her husband would each week deliver funds for all expenses that needed to be paid to her. She would take those funds and ensure all the bills were paid, and whatever her hubby had over was for him to spend. They had an amazing balance, they would always fork money over into their 401k and into their bank accounts to draw interest and save for a rainy day, but he was allowed to blow a few hundred dollars on a watch or various outfits if he wanted to, and she didn’t complain.
She simply stated, “If he’s taken care of the expenses and what is needed for the household and me, his job is done.” I thought to myself, why can’t more women think this way? Now, I will always argue that men are way better at handling finances than women; I just believe it to be true.
I know some women who can blow through hundreds, if not thousands of dollars in a single day and have not purchased a single thing that wasn’t something that they ‘personally’ wanted. Some would even go as far to ensure they utilize bill money to get their hair done, to purchase a new outfit or to do something to cater to their needs. Dear God, the world that we live in nowadays.
When it comes to the issue of money, men and women need to have more conversations truly discussing what the plans are for that money beyond just paying bills, especially in a marriage. I’ve seen way TOO MANY good friends and family members divorce because of issues involving money. Particularly one sex wanting to have control over it, while the other just sits back and allows them to do whatever the other wants.
Money is indeed the root of evil, but at the same time if you control the money instead of allowing the money to control you it completely changes the dynamics in life and in a relationship.