UNITED STATES—In today’s world a bad mother can say “I love you but I don’t like you” for the duration of her daughter’s life but then whine and garner support from family when the child grows to hate that same unloving mother. How could she turn her back on her own mother?
A father can legally call his son worthless, good-for-nothing, and retarded on a daily basis for the first 14 years of his life, but then tell friends and family that HE JUST DOESN’T UNDERSTAND why his kid can’t get a job, has no skills, or is so DAMNED LAZY. It surely wasn’t the way he was raised!
A brother can sexually abuse his sister, but then lead the bandwagon of people and subsequent generations who label her a SLUT or CRAZY, thereby providing justification to go against the whole “do not judge” ideal. She was a bad seed, better that she’s out of sight and out of mind!
The end result is that these parents are creating a large body of youth who refuse to GIVE RESPECT.
Our era of youth are UNREASONABLE and most certainly contaminated by beliefs opposite of reason.
What infuriates me is that WE CONTINUE WATCHING IT HAPPEN AND DO NOTHING BUT COMPLAIN.
Current undergraduate education in anything that includes general psychology, such as social workers, police officers, doctors, teachers, and other mental health workers, many times learn using David G Myer’s textbooks.
In ‘Exploring Social Psychology’ (so frequently updated that I used 6th edition in 2012, but they are up to 7th already) Myers tells us there are FOUR reasons for “UNREASON” or false beliefs (page 81):
“Preconceptions control interpretations.”
For example, the perfect summation would be to say children are programmed by parents and this will determine how they grow up to think, feel, and act.
“We often are swayed more by anecdotes than by statistical facts.”
An example is that the here and now is more REAL to children. If trauma sears itself into the mind of adult soldiers, imagine what it does to children traumatized daily within their SAFE ZONE aka familial home. School programs probably waste millions of dollars trying to get abused youth to open up, when we consider that the “availability heuristic” dictates what is most memorable and fresh on the mind, is what affects immediate behavior in humans.
As we know, my opinion is that until these youth know for certain that they have a safe place to go, they will remain in the predictable abuse home rather than gambling with the thought of institutional cruelty, homelessness, or starvation.
“We misperceive correlation and control.”
For example we do have an “illusion of control,” a way of believing we have control over things we actually have no control over. Misperceptions of control can cause as Ingrid Mathieu has said: “if I did it I can fix it” thinking, and “blame the victim mentality.”
“Our beliefs can generate their own conclusion.”
An example would be what many of you know as SELF-FULFILLING PROPHECIES. It’s a concept that I BELIEVE (just like the first ‘reason for unreason‘) is one of the big problems with our youth and they way they choose to conduct themselves in school, public places, and even at home.
We know and understand that when teachers give praise, or negatively fail a student with the opposite of praise, it will have a long-lasting effect.
Why wouldn’t we realize that when it comes to parents, the self-fulfilling prophecy would have an even larger effect? The name calling and bullying that happens behind familial doors, indoctrination of hate, learned helplessness, even teaching our youth to not love themselves: It all contributes to the self-fulfilling prophecy. It will all influence how the individual strives toward his or her own future.
In conclusion, it should be easy to understand why today’s youth now live by one main premise: to give it how they get it! Sometimes less and certainly nothing more.
The obligatory love and respect between youth and elders, including parents and children, is now dead.