UNITED STATES—Perfection. How would you define that word? Hmm, it is indeed quite loaded, and you know what it makes me think: UNTHINKABLE. Why? I don’t think perfection is something you can attain, but there seems to be this belief in reality that you can. I always thought growing up I had to be perfect. Why?
It was the one thing that set me apart from my siblings. I was the one who would always stay out of trouble. I was the responsible one, I was the smart one, I was the dependable one. I had all of these preconceived notions about me, and I emboldened myself to live up to those beliefs. I never internalized the pressure that placed on myself as a kid, but as an adult upon looking back I realize that was not healthy.
I felt I could never make a mistake when it came to school. I had to have straight A’s not attainting that meant I was a failure and I didn’t want to be perceived as such. And the first time it happens, you question everything about yourself. Maybe I’m not as smart, I’ve let the people around me down, maybe I need to work harder, or the truth: things happen. You cannot always be at the top, but you damn sure can strive to attain it, but you don’t beat yourself up if you come up short just a little bit.
Your parents tell you to seek perfection, your job tells you to seek perfection, life tells you to seek perfection. So you internalize that notion and as a result you strive for it day in and day out. The question is are you mentally strong enough the moment you don’t achieve it. Not many of us are. We don’t just bounce back. We internalize that demon known as DOUBT and it stays with us far longer than we care for.
As adults we have to limit this notion of perfection especially on children. Doing it at such an early age is not a good thing because believe they have to attain it at all costs and that can take them down a dark spiral like drugs, alcohol or something worse. I think it’s suitable to say “Give it your all” and if you feel you have done that, there is not more you can do or give.
Yes, mistakes can be costly and can cause all sorts of problems, but I think when you own the mistake that was made that is half the battle. You have to acknowledge a weakness. You learn from it and you move on from it. Life presents challenges for a reason. I don’t think it’s to see you break, it is to see you bounce back from potentially breaking. Guess what, even if you break, the pressure of perfection should make you want to pick those pieces back up and put yourself back together. You will not be perfect, but it shows an inner strength that makes you the person you are.
