HOLLYWOOD—When I first heard that a remake to the 1995 classic, “Anaconda” starring Ice Cube and Jennifer Lopez was being made I was giddy. It’s a great thriller and it involves a snake of massive proportions that I didn’t think was real, but oh, America, such snakes exists, just not in the United States. With that said, this is NOT the “Anaconda” that you think it is.

How so? If you’re looking for suspense, thrills and tension, this is not the movie for you. Instead, you get a comedy and that might be the biggest issue for fans of the original. They are not the same movie in the least bit. Can you do a movie like “Anaconda” that has such a core audience with comedy and expect it to deliver? No. It doesn’t work for me and its apparent the goal of the filmmakers was to give the audience a new notion of the massive snake that falters along the way.

You have a core group of characters that are fun to watch and they are unique. They are led by Griff (Paul Rudd) who continues to be ageless as a struggling actor. He reunites with his childhood pals that include Doug McCallister (Jack Black), Kenny Trent (Steve Zahn) and Claire Simons (Thandie Newton). The chemistry between this foursome is great; as a viewer you buy the illusion that they were friends growing up.

The movie even has a solid premise of Griff and his pals wanting to remake their favorite flick, “Anaconda” and doing it on location. If the movie as its setup right now, utilized this premise and instead of looking for laughs and chuckles, focused on what the original delivered and took it to a next level this could have been the remake of remakes in the world of Hollywood. I would have been glued to the screen trying to watch these characters escape the clutches of this terrifying snake.

We don’t get that here and that’s the problem. Sony was going for a family-friendly version of “Anaconda” and it just doesn’t work. That is like trying to remake John Carpenter’s 1978 classic “Halloween” as a comedy and expecting it to work. Guess what? That wouldn’t work people and the same applies here. The visual effects are a massive improvement from 1995, but the snake is sillier looking than terrifying so that is another mishap.

The volley between Rudd and Black’s characters are hilarious and we already know Zahn can deliver comedy, but Newton is a standout, where comedy I didn’t expect was a specialty for her. She delivers though and she has solid chemistry with Griff as a love interest.

“Anaconda” is going to leave many fans of the original disappointed, kids might like it, adults not so much. It is nowhere close to the original and that is a shame considering the setup this movie delivers.