BEVERLY HILLS—When was the last time you felt sad or upset because someone did something that hurt you or disappointed you? I surely remember my last time. I was trying to prepare a delicious meal for a group of friends and when I was in the middle of it, one of my friends said these exact words: “Since when do you cook?” At that moment, my first reaction was to stop cooking and to send him packing, but I decided to ignore that little comment and continued cooking. Long story short: at the end, the dinner was delicious and the guy had to apologize to me for his tactless comment.

Did the comment make me mad? Of course it did. Did I allow this guy’s action or words ruin the night? No, I did not. Why? Because throughout the years and thanks to my experiences in life, I have learned not to allow my happiness to depend on other people or their actions. Period!

Now, let me share a secret with you. When people allow other people’s actions or words to have a negative impact in their lives, they not only start depending on other people emotionally, but also they allow external actions to play a big role in their pursuit of happiness. Happiness, my friend, is a choice in life that YOU as a mature individual responsible for all your actions have to make. It is a state of being that only you can create.

Now, let me go straight to the point. Do you feel like other people’s actions have a negative impact in your life to the point of putting in jeopardy your happiness? If the answer is yes, I invite you to continue reading.

Below, I will share with you four tips that will help you to “detach yourself” from the effect other people’s actions could have in your life. These tips will help you to learn how to live a healthier, happier, and productive life without allowing those actions affect your life or the lives of those around you.

Tip 1.) Independence: Make a point of not depending on other people to achieve your goals in life. Not emotionally or physically. By acting and behaving independent, you will be the only person responsible for the good things or the bad things that happen to you. Basically, take control of your life and be the author of your own life story.

Tip 2.) Attitude: Attitude, my friends, is the key to everything. If you have bad attitude toward life, you will attract negative energy into your life. Have a good attitude even if you do not feel it. Remember the old saying”¦ “Fake it until you make it.”

Tip 3.) Find your happy place: Finding your happy place is not as hard as it sounds. It only requires you to identify those things that you enjoy doing and pursue them more often. No one should be in charge of making you happy. That is something that you should work on your own. Identifying things that make you happy and making them part of your life will be the only way you can find that happy place.

Tip 4.) Love yourself: Finally, love yourself for who you are and not for what other people think of you. By loving yourself, you can show the world that nothing can bring you down and that your well-being is the most important goal in your life.

Bottom line: unfortunately, as we all know by now, we cannot control other people’s actions, but we can surely control the way we react to life situations and the impact these actions and situations have in our lives. Our happiness my friends is something that we need to work on without allowing other people’s action to affect it or to have a negative impact on it. Make a point of living a happy life without letting other people’s action influence the way you are trying to live your life. 

About the Author:

Marielys Camacho-Reyes is a career/life coach with over 10 years of experience in the human resources field. If you would like to receive a one-time free coaching session, visit her website at or email her at