UNITED STATES—I have siblings probably more than most people, and I always ask that age-old question, do all siblings get along? From my personal experience, it does not. You clash, especially when you are younger, but what about when you age? Should you clash as much when you are adults though? I want to believe that is not the case, but I see myself clashing with some of my siblings more than ever.
I think it’s because we all have different personalities. No, two brothers are alike, and the same applies for sisters, and when you have age gaps between your siblings it doesn’t help the situation either. My sister is the oldest out of the 6 of us. I personally have a 7-year age gap with her and to be honest, we don’t have much in common at all. Are we cordial? Yes, but we rarely talk and I mean rarely talk.
The last time I spoke with her had to be almost 5 months ago. We have our own personal stuff that is a direct result of some of the decisions she has made and that I’m oldest mantra just gets on my last nerves. You might be the oldest, but that doesn’t make you the wisest or the be all of end all.
I have had more quibbles with my brothers than my sisters, to be honest I’m closest out of all my siblings with my youngest sister. I know if I ever need something I can count on her 2000 percent and vice versa. There is a bond there that is unbreakable in terms of trust and reliance. With that said, I used to be super close to my youngest brother, but as adults, it is like hell on top of hell. We are like oil and water. We do not mesh; we never see eye-to-eye and our conversations are minimum at best.
I only hear from him when he wants something, which causes tension anytime he calls or text. You never know what you’re going to get and making matters worse when you deal with an alcoholic and addict, the tension just builds. You cannot talk to someone when they’re high or drunk as a skunk. You will get absolutely nowhere, and I’ve come to learn with age: don’t react. Do not give people what they want, do the absolute opposite. Do not argue, do not interact, because they hate it like a passion.
It grinds my brother’s blood when I give him nothing. No interaction, no conversation, no antics. When you fight fire with fire, you just get more fire. If you don’t react you simmer the smoke to extinguish. I’ve very rarely lose my composure with my siblings. Have we had heated arguments? Yes, but I’ve never reached that boiling point and thank God I haven’t because I’m afraid what I might do if I am pushed to my limit.
They say everyone has a boiling point and I know I have one too, just like everyone else, the difference is I find a way to breathe, reflect and not react in the moment. I have never gotten physical with any of my siblings except my youngest brother and that was only twice, but because his hands were put on me first. When you threaten my life, unfortunately, I am going to react; you’ll learn that because I’m calm and quiet doesn’t mean I’m a pushover.
I understand as you get older squabbles happen, but I feel like i see them more with some of my siblings than others. Why that is, I could not give you the answer, but could it be jealously, envy or something else? Perhaps, but I’m hoping as time moves along things get better and not worse.
Written By Jason Jones
