UNITED STATES─Are you that person who goes above and beyond when it comes to doing for everyone else, only to never receive anything back in the long run? I fall into that boat, and I know I am not the only person, who deals with this issue on a constant basis. I’m that individual and I cannot fully explain where this psyche of going above and beyond came from.
Let me be crystal clear, I would NOT consider myself a people pleaser, nor have I in the past. People who do that I think allow themselves to be walked all over, disrespected at times, and just frustrated to a point where they see no escape. I’m someone who if I don’t like something I will voice my concern, and after that concern has been voiced, it’s up to me to make the decision on what to do best.
However, the purpose of this column is I really want to get into the psyche of WHY so many of us do much more than what we should when it comes to the work environment and family life. Let’s take the family element out for a second, because it’s no secret why some will go to extremes because it is family people. With that said, work is different. And with my 20 plus years of work experience in corporate America, I know for a fact that you do it for two reasons: fear of starting over or disappointing someone you look up to.
Yes, I would argue it is indeed a psychological game of sorts, and some bosses or those in management use that psychology to their advantage to manipulate and get staff to think they are getting more than they’re actually receiving. If you ever have a doubt about something that lingers, that is a telltale sign that cannot be ignored.
Imagine being the person answering emails way beyond business hours, taking calls when you’re supposed to be off the clock, working beyond your scheduled shift and not being compensated for it, the list goes on and on America. It gets to a point of utter exhaustion, frustration and just a flurry of emotions that sometimes you cannot control. So what do you do in such a situation?
You have to step back and reevaluate what it is that you’re doing. Are you seeing the results you want to see by the investment of time that you have put in? Are you able to sleep at night and not worry endlessly about things that are out of your control? When your excess starts to interrupting your personal life where you don’t have a moment of peace, solitude or just ease that we all need in life.
Written By Zoe Mitchell