UNITED STATES—There is nothing more exciting than getting good news. Not many people know, but I’m in a Doctoral Program studying Film Production and Film Studies. I wanted to dive into the program years, and I mean years ago, as an undergraduate, but at the time, my Alma Mater did not have such a graduate program. So, imagine my excitement to discover that such a program at the graduate level.
Nothing brings me more joy than cinema. I can talk about it for hours on end and the way I analyze a movie just gets my brain firing on so many cylinders. I started my P.H.D. program a few years ago and I am near the end of things. However, it has been one hell of a journey. When you craft a dissertation, it is not always the easiest thing because you’re taking a particular topic and you’re seriously diving deep into it. So much to the point you have to craft an elaborate paper that is going to be lengthy to say the least, and no I’m not thinking 10-15 pages, think a lot bigger 50-100 pages if not significantly longer.
I had one theory going into the program, but I’ve reached a point where it has completely shifted. I didn’t know what I wanted to talk about at first, but I had something to cook with and I used that as a starting point, but as I got into the program, I was not loving it. It felt like I was to some degree regurgitating previous studies and it was not something I wanted to do.
I’ll never forget what my Screenwriting professor told me almost 20 years ago as an undergraduate that the idea you crafted for your first screenplay is a market that has never been tapped into. If you can hone into it and stay true to your idea you can change the genre. That genre would be horror people. I’ve been an ardent fan since I can remember; and I’ve seen and studied them all. Not just the tropes, but the cliché’s the characters, the narrative, the villains and so much more.
Out of nowhere, I decided to go with a gamble on my dissertation and change approaches. I am so glad I did it. Why? What felt like a chore at first, has now transformed into something where I am exuberantly excited about. I feel like my ideas are more authentic, the research and analysis that I am doing is more exciting and eye-opening as a filmmaker and I think I have something super special in the process. However, that was not the kicker for me. This past week, had a big thing transpire, where I had to present my dissertation up to this point to the committee and actually argue/defend it.
Now, this is a process I witnessed back as an undergraduate student. I attended it under the tutelage of my film studies professor at the time who wanted to show us what graduate students endure when defending their dissertation and potentially vying for a position at various universities. My presentation went well, was I nervous? Absolutely, but I’ve been told time and time again, that I am a great public speaker when it comes to an audience as I orate quite well, exude confidence and speak with authority.
There were some very tough questions from the committee, some where I had to really think before I responded, but not give the impression that I didn’t know what I was talking about at the same time. It was tough, very tough and after the Q/A grilling session was over I felt exhausted. I got some constructive criticism and feedback that I took in stride to help me continue to strengthen my dissertation. However, lo and behold an email I received in my student inbox of a potentially teaching assistant position opening up in the film studies department that one of the professors on the committee thought I would be fantastic for.
I have had an affinity for teaching, as I was a tutor for student athletes during my undergraduate career. It helped me build my confidence and ability to convey difficult subject matters to all students the ones who want to learn and those who really don’t want to learn. The icing on the cake for the position is that it would unfold during the summer semester, which is a heftier workload, but I would have a massive role in the recitation portion of the class outside of the lecture classes. So in essence, I would be the solo teacher for one-on-one instruction with the undergraduate students in an introductory film course and I would get the opportunity to take a stab at grading critical essays at the same time.
I didn’t expect this to happen, but wow, this opportunity I never imagined is falling into my lap. There’s no way I can say no to it right? I can’t, it just feels like this is going to push me to the next level while I’m reaching the final stage of my program, and I get to make some money at the same time. While not a massive ton, it’s enough money for two semesters to stack into some extra savings and additional expenses in my life. Teaching is something I have always found fascinating because I don’t think there is a right or wrong way to teach, you have to adjust your pedagogy based on the student or student’s learning capability. And what does that say? It says growth.
