UNITED STATES—The Master of late if given to a lot more tomfoolery now than in the pinnacle of his debauchery. The ever-shifting scenery of life vomiting out of a hand-held, cyber-digital black hole leading to topsy turvy windowsills on an expressionistic edifice deconstructed by an increasingly deranged architect, spawns’ yawns and the default reaction: It’s time for a nap.
Tonight I surprised the master at the front door, bedraggled, and gave him a standing hug. He’s been wearied and witnessing an increasing number of succumbing to road rage. Meanwhile, the Master broods over not wanting to take little DeVille, the Chihuahua, out for a walk. The little fellow stretches and yawns–that’s the sign, the temperature is right and he’s raring to go.
Today they took a short and direct route, around the block and straight into a cafe. The master comforted himself with an espresso and a good chat with the proprietors. Baby DeVille scored a bacon strip, which he’s been regaled with over many years. No wonder the Chihuahua, makes a beeline for the entry when they pass by.
Quite stupidly the Master has take-up a new vice: chewing gum. He fell asleep and during the night the gum slipped out of his mouth, and he woke up to the unpleasant sensation of chicle on his skin. When the silver hook of the red leash was dangled to DeVille’s eager gaze, he made a disturbing discovery.
What first appeared to be dried chocolate sauce on the little dog’s white flank, was a scribble of the dread chewing gum. It proved impervious to warm soap and water. The sticky gumminess woven into the fur resisted the ice remedy.
The master immediately plunged into the task of removing the little islands of gum from DeVille and the cushion of the blue velour couch, where both dog and master sleep. Quickly the master was converted to the cause of outlawing gum. To classify it as an environmental toxin. It sneaks through the sanitation chain to end up who knows where.
It remains to get stuck on shoes, and under school chairs. Fray nerves and cramp style. On DeVille the trail of chewing gum persists, resistant to ice, olive oil, and peanut butter (hand-held encyclopedia suggests peanut butter may serve as an effective solvent on dogs jinxed by chewing gun stuck to their fur).
Well, it didn’t.
To be continued…
