Real People, Real Advice
Ask Deanna! Is an advice column known for its fearless approach to reality-based subjects!
Ask Deanna! can be heard every Sunday on KTYM AM 1460 at 3 p.m. in Los Angeles, Calif.
I have been designated as the babysitter and caregiver for my younger brothers and sisters. My mother started having kids again after I turned 13. Now I’m in college and I can’t get my homework completed; I stay tired all the time. I try to talk to my mother but she is always fussing about her boyfriends, my siblings’ fathers and money. I don’t want to quit college or ruin my relationship but it looks as if that’s where things are heading. What can I do?
Tamyra Jackson Online Reader
Families stick together no matter what and in your case, you have to be the glue. You may not see it, but your mother is doing the best she can with what she has. All you can do is hang in there, help the best you can and push yourself harder to become better and achieve. You should work out a schedule with your mother, college and the kids and be sure to rest and stay focused. You will get your reward in the end after you’ve done the right thing.
I want more out of my current relationship, but I think my past is causing negativity between us. I have been known to have more than one boyfriend and play the field but I’ve changed. I’m ready to settle down but my past seems to haunt me on a regular basis. My boyfriend tells me he would commit but he’s afraid he can’t trust me. What can I do to prove that I’ve changed and can be trusted?
Anonymous Charlotte, N.C.
People believe that once you’re a cheat, you will always be a cheat. Your lack of care for your morals is giving you a dose of reality that you can’t seem to swallow right now. You’ve shown your boyfriend quite a few things when you thought he and others were not looking. The only thing you can do is stay on the straight and narrow path in your relationship, meet his expectations and demonstrate to him that you’re on his team seeking longevity and a future.
My cousin has betrayed me by getting with my ex-boyfriend. We had a break-up but I felt there always hope to get back together. I’m having a hard time because of the family issue and now they’re having a baby together. I’m trying to control myself and keep it together because he was seeing her when he was with me. I was doing fine and moving on until he called wanting to have a fling. I’m torn between seeing him and telling my cousin. What do I do?
Miserable But Holding On Denver, Colo.
If you think things are bad now, go ahead and get with him and you’ll have a living nightmare on your hands. Whether he’s with your cousin, a friend or a stranger, you had your chance, it didn’t work out and now he’s onto someone else. You have enough time to hold on to your sanity and find a relationship that’s good for you. Hold your head high and let the past be the past and although your cousin has him, realize that he’s cheating on her but it’s not with you.