UNITED STATES—I know I have a temper and at times it flares up when I least expect it. It is not me being angry for the sake of being angry it is the fact that I sometimes cannot control that temperament of mine. Some of you might be asking what is temperament? It is similar to one’s personality, but varies distinctly on experience. Your temperament can be determined by your environment and what you have become accustomed to, i.e. your behavior.

Now let me clearly explain this: I am not someone who is angry 24/7, but I have a low tolerance for stupidity or senseless nagging. Nagging might be the one thing that gets underneath my skin the most. There is no reason to shout or call me to do something that you can easily do. It’s not the point that I’m being called, it is the fact that someone is asking me to do something while I’m in the middle of doing something. That always happens and it drives me absolutely bonkers as a result.

Stupidity is another issue. Don’t ask me a stupid question where you already have the answer to. It is like you’re toying with me for the clear sake of toying with me and it leads to me asking the simple question: WHY? Why do you feel the need to taunt me when I don’t have the energy to deal with! As of late though, I have been actively working to curb that temper that can flare from 1-10 in a record amount of time.

How do I know it’s a problem? I’m able to catch my temper people. I know I’m going to say something that I probably shouldn’t say, and I catch myself mid-conversation. I take a moment and I take a deep breathe. Trust me I know it sounds so damn silly, but taking that deep breathe allows you to refocus your thoughts and actions before you take them. I mean have you ever asked yourself why some people are better in conversations than others?

Well some are low self-monitors, while others are high self-monitors. I’ve written countless research papers on the difference between the two, but what I will say is that low self-monitors don’t care how they are perceived by others, where high self-monitors are perceptive to those in their orbit so it does indeed impact how you behave in social situations. So you might just spew language not understanding the abrasiveness of it until someone makes you aware of it. That may not be the intent, but it’s not WHAT you say it is HOW you say it.

So if you say things with inflection in your voice that is never a good thing, especially when the person on the receiving end can sense it. So what does it all mean? Take a moment to think before you speak. Trust me I know plenty of Americans say, “Oh, I do it all the time.” Um, no you don’t so stop lying to yourself. If we actually took a moment to think before we spoke, we wouldn’t say so many stupid things and we wouldn’t put ourselves in situations that are tricky to get out of. You don’t want to be that person that no one wants to be around because they know you give off that bad energy. Look we all have bad days, but if you’re having such take some time to yourself.

For me having moments of peace, complete silence, just a fan going helps calm the brain, mind and body. I don’t need to do something specific to take my mind of my temper flaring up. I just need to breathe. We all have a temper, some of us get flare ups more than others, but you are in control people remember that.

Written By Jason Jones