UNITED STATES—People say that we are promised a lot of things in life, but if there is one thing I truly believe all Americans are promised, it is death. I know this might seem like a grim column, but it’s reality. Death is something that is promised to all of us. I felt I am reminded of this at least once a year when I am attending the funeral of a loved one.
That happened in 2023, right before Christmas. I will just say it, I hate funerals. I’m not a fan of funerals at all because they bring a level of dread, grief and sadness that is hard to swallow. I feel like when I die, I don’t want my family to have a funeral for me, I just want it to be something quick and fast, I don’t want people mourning me and that sadness is just a lot to take, if I’m being honest.
You have to view the body, you see tons of people crying or in tears, you have the obituary, you are reminded of so many good things about the person and then you have that ultimate moment where you leave the church and head to the gravesite where your loved one is placed into the ground. Now I know some places have stopped that, but it tends to still happen for most funeral homes, and then reality hits. They’re gone, you won’t see them again, you can’t talk to them again, a flood of emotions takes over the body, mind and spirit.
When I go to a funeral, it gets me thinking about my own life. Have I lived a full life, will people remember me, have I put my mark on this planet, will I be missed, do people care, did I leave a legacy? It is so sad, but true. I’m glad I’m writing this column so people understand that it is okay to talk about death even though it scares most of us and we will never admit it. We don’t want to think about it because we know it is going to happen to us one day, it is part of life.
We are not promised tomorrow, and the goal of this column is to encourage Americans to live their life to the fullest. Don’t think you have tomorrow to do something that you perhaps want to do today. You don’t know if you’ll be here tomorrow, and this is not saying to live life without any regrets but appreciate what you have in life because it could be way worse than you actually think it is.
The dichotomy about a funeral is we go to the event with a level of dread already. At least for me I always do because grief is something too hard to express or describe with words. If I focus more on the celebration of a person’s life no matter how painful it may be to realize that loved one or friend I will not get to see again in the flesh, their spirit is still around me. They are still watching over me. That can bring more of a smile than a tear, and not many of us realize that.
Death is scary; I will be the first to say it, because when you have a near death experience your life tends to flash right before your eyes. I think knowing that you lived your life doing what mattered most to you is key. Live life, and if you lived life there is nothing to regret even though your mind might be running with the worst thoughts you can imagine.
