UNITED STATES—It is an issue that many men encounter all the time in the current day-and-age: is chivalry actually dead? Hmm, you might be asking me what prompts this question well, it is TMZ. They reported a story about themselves involving one of their photographers and actress Tiffany Haddish who was at LAX loading luggage into an SUV after a trip.

You have to watch the video if you haven’t seen it because it is hilarious to say the least. Haddish goes on a major rant about the photographer just sitting and watching them load the luggage (a bunch of women by the way), and once they’re finished decides to walk up to Tiffany if it’s ok to ask her a few questions and she unloads.

Now, this column is not aimed to discuss the ins and outs of the situation. You can honestly argue in favor of Haddish, as well as the photographer. I think the frustration lies with the fact that the guy watched them unload the luggage and after they were finished decided it would be okay to ask a question, which steamed the actress to say the least. However, you can also argue that it’s is NOT the photographer’s job to load up someone’s luggage; if he choose to do so it would be at his discretion. This all goes back to an issue of chivalry, something that used to be common nature in the early times of existence, but in 2018 that does not seem to be the case.

So the question of the hour is why not? That is a very loaded question and I would argue it commences with the notion that some people look at chivalry as a sign that women are weak or incapable of doing things, and that is NOT the case. I personally have encountered situations where I have attempted to help someone in need (particularly women) to be informed no help was needed. Do I take offense to it? No, but at the same time, I do believe when it happens repeatedly to some men they decide its better off to not get involved. Is that smart?

From my personal opinion, the answer is no! Chivalry has nothing to do with getting a pat on your shoulder at least not for me. However, at the same time, I do believe women should be more open to the idea if someone is offering their assistance. It’s not someone saying YOU CAN’T DO SOMETHING; it’s doing what anyone with a conscience should do if someone is in need. Holding the door open? Opening the car door? Pulling out a chair? Helping with groceries or a package? Helping one cross the street if needed? I mean I can list a ton and I mean a ton of things without taking a breath?

On top of that, people should not solely consider chivalry to be an issue between men and women. It’s about courtesy. If you need help reaching an item wouldn’t you ask for help? If you witnessed a situation where someone was in danger or need of assistance wouldn’t you step in? I would hope so because you never know when a situation could arise where you need someone’s help. Could the issue involving chivalry being dead be the direct result of it not being taught in school or by parents? Very much so because schools don’t teach that, and I can understand why, as it places some people in a situation where they feel compelled to do something that perhaps they don’t want to perform.

However, parents should teach the importance of chivalry to their children. It brings with it a level of respect, especially for young boys, young men and those as they enter adulthood. Is it nice to get a pat on the back for doing something chivalrous? Of course, but you don’t do it to be recognized, you do it because it’s the right thing to do and that is all that matters in the long run.