UNITED STATES—Have you ever had a nightmare that rattled you? What about a string of nightmares that rattled you all related to a similar theme? For the past 2 weeks, I have literally had similar dreams, let me rephrase that nightmares because they have been so intense they have shaken me out of my sleep where I have to get up and collect my brain and reassure myself what just transpired was just a bad nightmare, it was not real. However, that does not change the lingering feeling I have after I fall back to sleep or get ready to start my day: why am I having these nightmares?

I’ll be blunt the nightmares involve me and it involves death. In particular, me dying. It is a violent death as well, one that involves stabbing or shooting at the hands of a family member, a very close one I may add. With jealously being the catalyst for the motivation, but I cannot wrap my brain as to why?

I don’t tot myself as being better than others, I don’t have this quench to prove people that I am right all the time, I don’t believe I’m perfect, I live my life as if it is my last each day. I go to work, I do my job, I take care of my family and I try to be a carrying individual realizing no one person has the same situation as myself; in other words I am grateful for the life I have, but these nightmares are signaling something that is easily getting under my skin in the worst possible way and I don’t like it one bit.

Maybe I’m worried about something too much. Perhaps, family is stressing me out or I’m allowing them to stress me out when I should NOT. No, I’m not watching anything violent, dark or scary on TV for people who might be thinking that. Past few weeks have been intense to say the least and maybe this is my brain simply working out those scenarios and make sense of all this excess stimuli that I have to deal with.

I have no clue what is triggering the nightmares, but I don’t think it’s a coincidence to say the least If I had one nightmare I could dismiss it, but three in the same week, oh, no there has to be more to the story people. Perhaps it could be my anxiety that is peaking the midst of stress from work and school, Perhaps it could be that I am just tired, exhausted and in desperate need of a time out. That is the thing about psychology, especially when it comes to the brain it is indeed a complicated organ that works in mysterious ways people.

I have never had a fear of death, I believe when death transpires you have to accept it and you cannot change fate. My only ask is that it’s not painful. I prefer for it to be quick and I feel little to nothing. However, these nightmares the death is painful; it hurts it stings to the core, but with any nightmare before that finality comes you awake. You attempt to process as your mind is still gathering information to understand what just unfolded.

You don’t immediately go back to sleep because you’re afraid of triggering another nightmare that you will not be able to easily shake. That is the problem with any nightmare, especially a powerful one; it sticks with you, it lingers long after you awake and you find yourself trying to make sense of what has unfolded EVEN IF it could have just been a bad dream people. Sometimes a nightmare is not just a nightmare there is more going on that we don’t understand.