UNITED STATES—History is littered with drawings, photos and historical accounts of it and today I am going to talk about something NOBODY wants to hear. THAT BIG elephant roaming around America UNRESTRICTED, stomping and killing souls: Sexual Abuse.

Nearly 62,939 cases of child sexual abuse were reported in 2012.

Thirty percent are by a family member.

Many times leading to lifetime mental disorders that are showing by age 14.

Suicide is the third leading cause of death in children ages 10-24.

Over 60,956 cases of child sexual abuse were reported in the United States in 2013.

In 2009 – 53 percent of 1.2 million children receiving social security, do so for mental illness.

A 3 million person study that took 28 years showed a “significant association” between sexual abuse and LIFETIME mental disorders.

Like so many others that have health issues: mortality fears motivate me into saying everything I need to, before I cannot do so anymore. I am one of the MANY angry Americans walking around, a victim of UN-rectified crimes. My life was wasted spiritually, mentally and even physically and although my abusers classically deny: I have the telltale broken bones to prove SOME of it.

When children are raised with non-stop violence and sexual assaults from numerous perpetrators, it creates what can only be considered as individual human time bombs, ready to destroy anything, everything, SOMETHING! It is the only way to feel better. When I hear about people suing their “attacker” and receiving millions of dollars I feel jealous, then ANGRY.

I lost the “parent” lottery and it appears I lost the child molester lottery too. It feels just as Charles M Blow of the New York Times said, like I was “exploited.”

Inside of me is a second consciousness, an angry redheaded alter-ego! This “self” is as hateful and mad as EMINEM and it is a FULL-TIME job suppressing my AILEEN WOURNOS soul.

The professionals always look at me strangely when I tell them that I equate my childhood to being much like that prostitute serial killer. Instead of giving blowjobs in exchange for smokes, my mouth was extorted to prevent the tattling that would lead to my father’s belt. I learned REAL early, it was less painful to perform oral sex, than to deal with a whipping.

By the time I was 14 I had already attempted suicide more than once, and ran away every chance I got.

One such time the school counselor took me to social services where they took photos of my horrific bruises, BUT THEN just like everyone else I ran to for help: took me back home. When Uncle Sam ordered a family counselor to come work with us my father threw a tantrum and kicked him out. Running away again, a couple of years as a runaway went by before I ended up in ER in excruciating pain, typical with my menstrual. They found my uterus was tipped backwards and insisted I had been in a serious accident, but I had no recollection of it.

That was in the 1980s and I continued not having a clue until the PERP HIMSELF started going to Alcoholics Anonymous and got to the “making amends” part, disgustingly admitted “doing things” to me when I was FIVE.

Still, not sure if the DISASSOCIATION that prevents me from remembering the age of 5 is my friend or not, but I will assume it is.

I am the BLACK SHEEP, and to counter their harsh words, I remind myself of the many sayings that say the same thing, i.e Great Historian Tacitus; “IT IS HUMAN NATURE TO HATE HIM WHOM YOU HAVE INJURED.”

There are MORE THAN 2 million victims of sexual assault over the last decade, and that is just the KNOWN cases. That is a lot of DEAD SOULS walking among you. Angry because we are forced to play by the rules to a system that failed us.

Personally, as someone that suffers from a personality disorder, PTSD, and broken bones due to a MESSED UP childhood: I am sick and tired of seeing more and more victims, and blame it on the fact that mental illness is not visible, so people are unwilling to get on board with the commitment IT WILL TAKE for Uncle Sam to have a say in how children are raised behind closed doors.

Maybe this popular video will help you understand that if we can collectively decide to fight labeling, we have to do MORE to help those that are ruined with permanent labels AT THE HAND OF MAN, like: survivor and victim…

 

Labeling IS BAD because it places a sticker on us that will affect the way we think forever, but as tear-jerking as this noble cause is, some labels can be removed! NOW imagine that sexual abuse drives that sticker label in with FORCE, hard enough to MURDER the soul while also engraving the feelings of worthlessness and despair in so deeply: we are rendered useless before old enough to overcome our repressive cocoons, become a butterfly, and fly away.