UNITED STATES—I think it is a subject that not many American families like to chat about, but it is perhaps something that should be talked about in more public spheres. Why? It has a domino effect that a lot of people don’t understand, and it can linger for decades if not for centuries. Alcoholism is something that exists in my family on both sides, my mother, as well as my father.
It is not something I have fully explored as much until recently and I’m trying to understand why it reverberates in my life to a degree I didn’t understand until now. I don’t drink alcohol much if at all. I think the last time I had a drink it was on my birthday, that might be the only day I make an exception for the rule, but even then, it was a single drink.
Alcohol is just something I don’t think I need or have to indulge in to have a good time. Can it loosen a person up? Of course it can, but at the same time, if you’re using that constantly as a reason for why you do what you do you might have an issue that you’re not willing to acknowledge. I witnessed my grandfathers (both of them) drink heavily and it wasn’t really beer, it was liquor. Is there a difference? One hits you a lot harder than the other and a lot quicker.
Uncles on both sides of the family drink quite heavily, cousins who drink relentlessly so much to the point they love to brag about their bar inside their homes and all the liquor they have at their fingertips. The one caveat would be the aunts on my mom’s side. None of them drink; never have that I can recall growing up as a kid and as an adult. My mom doesn’t drink either, my dad drank, but he stopped nearly 20 years ago and barely does it now, but his siblings drink, one in particular quite heavy to say the least.
My siblings drink quite heavy especially my older brothers, my older sister and my younger brother, but for some reason the alcohol gene skipped me. I like to categorize people who drink in three categories: the funny one, the laid back/out of it one or the worst of them all, the angry drunk. The angry drunk is the one that bugs me the most because you never know what you’re going to get, and it becomes a point of contention to tell the truth.
They might flip out on you or someone else, and the scary thing is that that drinking seems to be a little family secret that no one wants to chat about. No, that is the problem when you don’t’ discuss it; it becomes an issue that lingers to the point of causing relenting chaos. My older brother, I can’t remember a time when an argument didn’t ensue in a public outing, or he didn’t go from 0 to 100 in a matter of minutes. It is almost like “please don’t do anything stupid because you’re going to go to jail” and that is something I don’t want to have to deal with.
Sometimes when people are drunk, they speak their absolute truths to the point that you question if you know this person who your so-called family is. Do they actually like me or do they hate my guts? That is how things are with my younger brother. When he becomes drunk, he becomes the most vicious, vile human being I have ever met. He doesn’t care what he says, and he does it with little to no remorse at all.
Recently he had a drunk episode, where he called me every name in the book, wished death upon me and made it clear that he respects me to no degree. However, I didn’t react. I kept my calm and didn’t feed into any of his energy. I’ve learned that when people are drunk you kind of have to steer clear of them or keep them away from your orbit. It’s bad energy, really bad, and that drums up the issue of whether alcoholism can travel throughout an entire lineage. Does it skip some individuals in the process? I like to believe so, but you never truly know, and I wish I could explain it.
However, when you confront someone about their issue with alcohol, they always want to throw something in your face. It is like an argument that you can never win because they refuse to listen to anything you have to say. I’m almost scared to drink sometimes because from studies I did as a psychology graduate where I paid extra focus on psychological disorders and abnormal psychology, the alcohol gene does exist in families.
I truly studied the issue of alcoholism. There are some genes that exist genetically that can trigger alcoholism even in those who don’t drink, it just takes the right moment and time, and that switch can go off and then it becomes hard to turn it off. I don’t drink because I’m afraid of alcoholism, I just choose not to drink, but I am aware that there are impacts on the family that not many consider.
Written By Jason Jones
