UNITED STATES—It is said time and time again that you have to forgive people because harboring that anger or whatever emotion you want to call it, is unhealthy for you, but it raises the question; it is not as easy as individuals seem to think. I’ll put it out there, I do not get along with my younger brother; we are like fire and gasoline, we just don’t mesh nowadays, and I think it is mainly as a result of him drinking too much and not taking accountability for his actions.
I wish I could explain his behavior, but it is an enigma that I cannot understand. He rages, acts a complete fool and then turns around and acts as if he hasn’t done anything wrong. I don’t think he realizes the words he uses at times, his inability to just say “I messed up” and sincerely apologize without any pre-requisites makes it worse. There is a reason people don’t want to be bothered because they truly don’t know who they’re going to get, Dr. Jekyl or Mr. Hyde. No one wants that, but the problem is he doesn’t see it.
Each time you give him another chance; he turns around and proves you wrong by resorting back to that same behavior that just irritates the blood. I just can’t stand it or do it anymore, I can’t. Forgive on Monday, and then by Wednesday you’re back to square one. At this point, I truly don’t know what to do. I cannot help him anymore, he truly has to help himself and that is the scary thing. I don’t think he wants or even cares to change. This is who he is and he likes being this way.
It is something he is proud of and loves to wear it as a badge of honor. However, I am learning that when someone acts like a jerk you just ignore them. You can’t engage with them because the more you engage with them the more idiotic they behave. Their goal is to get a reaction out of you and the moment you react, it gives them the fuel to continue to behave the way they choose.
At times, I just have to take a deep breath and collect my thoughts, it is sometimes easy to react when you are frustrated and that is just being a human being, we react without thinking before we react. Your goal should NEVER be to react with emotion because you might say and do things that you ultimately regret later.
I don’t always but that forgiveness is simply for you, I think it does benefit the person who you forgive because it lifts a weight off their shoulders. They might have that lingering feeling that they can’t escape and as soon as you forgive them, they feel a levity and as a result they are back to bad behavior because they see they got away with it before, so why not again. I do believe there are things that people can do that are so horrific that forgiveness is just not on the playing ground anytime soon. It may take extensive soul searching and some deep digging for someone to forgive someone that has done something that has lingering effects on their life to the point it is no hard pill to swallow.
As Americans we all have to practice the notion of forgiveness, but for those just saying to get over it and move on, that is easy for you to say if you have endured the trauma that some of us have had to deal with and it is not a one-time occasion it is something that happens repeatedly.
Written By Jason Jones
