UNITED STATES—THANK GOD rationalizing can be unconscious, church isn’t mandatory, and repeating prayers washes away sin night after night because when one decides between giving pity, empathy, sympathy, compassion or even philanthropy – they ARE using the dreaded sin of JUDGEMENT.
To sympathize means we have care and concern for another person and want to see them get “better” but with empathy we share feelings because we’ve been there, or know someone who has. We can understand what they are going through. The ultimate in these feel-good emotions is compassion, which they say involves empathizing or sympathizing before choosing to to help alleviate the sufferer in some philanthropic way.
What is PITY, exactly?
Some of you may define pity as Merriam Webster does: “sympathetic sorrow for one suffering, distressed, or unhappy” but I BELIEVE pity always has a negative side, as the incredible Dr. Samuel Kabue says: “pity has the dynamic that the one to whom it is shown is considered not only in a worse situation than the one who shows pity, but also considered inferior.”
No matter who says it or how badly they want to say pity is not a negative, look at how our current generation defines it…
Websites like www.psychologytoday.com say that pity involves “paternalistic or condescending overtones.”
Two of the top seven user-submitted definitions at urbandictionary.com:
“Pity is thinly veiled hostility”
“Something the strong offer the weak due to some internal feeling of sorrow or sadness for them. However totally unnecessary and should be given to noone. ”
So it’s not just me and my self-pity thinking no one cares about anyone, anymore.
On his website, psychotherapist Dr. Hurd teaches that “pity can be a response to someone who brought the problem on himself, or not.” I propose this sums up how even educated professionals can stumble on the slippery slope of blaming the victim if they are not careful.
WE SHOULD NEVER make the judgement that the person brought something on themself without knowing the circumstances, THIS IS WELL KNOWN.
Dr. Hurd’s statement shows us how easily sympathy can change from an I understand or I want to help feeling to the Oh you must’ve made a bad choice sentiment that comes with judging others.
…and I am okay with judgement as I believe it’s an evolved personality trait that helps to keep us safe.
As it is now there are children taught that anything can be overcome, and it is true SOMETIMES. With the right medical insurance many health related issues can be overcome in the sense that the broken body can be made functional.
Problems of a psychological nature are the same, with SUPPORT they too can be overcome or maintained.
These wonderfully raised and strong minded children that become doctors, lawyers, politicians forget someone helped them through the adversity that faced, whether it was a social worker, teacher, clergy, or family member.
They learned by experience that you can “help yourself” while forgetting they did not do it by themselves.
Now I want to equate the human mind as the engine of a car – it is what drives the body after all!
Can you imagine standing next to a car that was never properly cared for, empathizing with it and telling it that its capable of performing just fine, if it wants to. NOW NOW CAR! You can compete side by side with that other car that WAS maintained.
Who do you think would win the race? Yet this is what is happening in society, with our human race! I propose that many would pity that car: Aww – I bet IT WAS nice once upon a time…
After talking with hundreds of broken-minded individuals across America I realize there’s serious disparity in what youth are learning VERSUS what they experience in the real world.
Some parents teach that LIFE IS WHAT YOU MAKE OF IT and it’s a good message too, especially when true, but it’s leading to underlying tension between the LUCKY ONES who believe the world is fair and equal, and those of us that know it is not.
This is where the new evolved form of pity comes in.
Sympathy is rare because if we don’t know someone with your problem, we have certainly seen it on TV.
We can empathize while suspecting that a bad choice is to blame, closing our minds to the fact that many are merely dealing with an AFTEREFFECT LIFE due to the bad choices someone else made, robbing of the opportunity to make our own bad choices.
It leaves me wondering who exactly should be pitied, and who should not.