I Love Luna (35)

UNITED STATES—I know what’s wrong with my “master” pro temp. It’s the lunacy of meeting a deadline, long after the deadline has drained into the septic tank of time. It is the fallout of a week it became apparent to my unobservant master that the house was bereft of hot water.

A swarm of leitmotivs that made his heart go pitter patter, not the least of which was my latest attempt to break out of the relatively comfortable jail I dwell in, one truthfully have no desire to break from.

Other of the leitmotivs torturing him: a bathroom sink clogged by gunk and hair. (Advice to humans with a literary bent: do not start a drano treatment and then start tapping away at the keyboard. Those recommended 15 minutes to let that toxic gel set will vanish in a heartbeat.

Fool that he is, he fails to appreciate the good luck of having a new hot water heater installed was done just in time, by a plumbing professional, so that very hot water could finish the job, otherwise the drain may’ve been compromised by the drano.

Here I, Luna, get to sleep a lot and get two squares a day. Not bad for a dog’s life.

It is fun to give my human handlers a good scare, now and then. It happened yesterday, I flew the coop, when in reality all I wanted was a little jazzercise. After days without hot water and password vexations dealt with, the “master” is itching to get out of the house and celebrate the milestone of creating a new password, at long last, a cock-eyed concatenation of numbers, symbols and letters that satisfied the cyber-security beast. And then the successful restoration of hot water, not without a bit of suspense.

After victory was declared and the pilot light was lit. The master went to heat up some vegetable on the stove. It lacked the usual hiss. The pilot light was anemic, the burners didn’t do their thing. Not at all.

The plumbing savior was vexed and made a night call so vexed was he. Every dog and fool has their day. When “master” mentioned an earthquake cut valve, right away he knew the culprit on not cooking with gas. When the gas shut-off valve got turned on during installation, the earthquake valve kicked in.

Well, we’re lucky, I wanna tell the master. A twelfth of the world’s population lacks easy access to clean water.

To be continued…